"I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. I dont think there is a neutral position. In what context? They have everything to do with your strength, and what you've endured. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Without you, I couldnt do it. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. It makes a difference I think. Thanks for making us proud. If these 10 phrases come up often, they're signs he doesn't want a relationship with you, and you should move on with someone who can be the person you deserve. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. . Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. 27. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. 10. Thank you all, too. You could feel annoyed and put out. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. implying a mentor relationship. 2. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. "We will always remember. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. 2. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! ), Seven Thoughts to Help You Parent Peacefully, Hints on Maintaining a Harmonious Household. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. Immune Response. (My answer might surprise you. Second, he must know you well. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. 2. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. Youre like my sister from another mother. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. It remains condescending and arrogant. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. The Proud Boys . Best of BBC Future. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. Were brothers, dont you forget that! You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. 7. 8. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. You look so much better!". Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". In this sense, a mentor is a parent that you choose, and the desire for his or her love and approval is as natural as the desire for that of a parents pride. But to be proud of them? 4. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Thank you for starting this. Who determines the meaning of words? Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. 2. PJ. All rights reserved. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Which brings me to my next point. Im excited, are you? But it had a very positive impact on this one child. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. They mean the exact opposite of what you think. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Thats the response I was expecting from you. 5. 11. It will also help to give you a boost of confidence. 2. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Of course, the child may feel really pleased to hear this positive evaluation of their efforts. I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? "I know you have a lot going on . A very concise and articulate post. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. Dear! As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. Youre my friend, not my parents! 24. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. 1. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Be proud that you are here. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Fascinating post in two regards. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. . 3. . "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. Second, he must know you well. But worse, my friend thanked them. 3. We learn from every step we take. 2. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. It's nothing bad or unusual. Yeah, this means a lot to me. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. Future Planet. They seem to make him quite happy. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. Lost Index. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Thank you so much! I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. The rest were manual labourers. Who is saying this to whom? I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. This post was actually very helpful for me! 13. She says "Good boy. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. As parents, it's important to stay calm and resist the urge to blame our kids or anyone else, really for our emotions. My former partner just recently told me that he was proud of me after major accomplishment. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. Be proud of who you are. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. Thank You. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? ". 16. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Approval is different to acceptance. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why.

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